I adore the sport of wrestling. Very few things have brought me as much personal and professional satisfaction, grief, suffering, confusion, and growth.
Three of my children have wrestled, including my youngest daughter. She's a pioneer in the sport, as evidenced by the interesting questions she gets asked. "You wrestle boys?" She does, and she wrestles female opponents as well. Or, "Wow, that's cool?" Almost like a side compliment.
Wrestling is all about equality.
It begins with weigh ins. Pre-match and pre-tournament, stripped down to the skivvies, get on the scale and check how much you weigh. I wrestled in the 119, 132, and 138 pound weight class. My opponents weighed the same.
The mat size is the same for all competitors. Mat time is the same, roughly six minutes, depending on division and age group. Same number of coaches are allowed in your corner, two. Same number of referees, usually one, supervise the match.
Unless someone puts their thumb on the scale, it's a fair fight. That's the beauty of the competition. Just you, and your opponent. At the end of the match, one person gets their hand raised. You shake hands with the referee, your fellow competitor, their coaches, and win or lose, live to wrestle another day.
Everyone is beatable. Everyone.
Anyone can win. Anyone.
Let me be clear when I say that one pound can make a difference. Try losing that one pound when you've gone all week trying to make weight. Try practicing with someone who outweighs you by just a few pounds. It makes a difference.
If talking heads and ideologues on both sides of the gated institutional narrative are putting their verbal thumbs on the scale, then the scale is being tipped away from civil and fair discourse and towards confusion, perhaps even hatred.
That one pound label makes a difference in the verbal exchange. Skews the argument. Makes it difficult to understand. Supplants the expectations around civility. Often prevents clarity. Always promotes inequity and enmity.
Whatever my perceived and real ideological differences with my fellow citizens, that thumb on the scale removes the fair and equitable dialogue from taking place. A so-called pro-lifer gets on the scale and the activists are tipping the scales towards them being automatically labeled as a liberal. So-called pro-gun folks gets on the scale and are immediately branded a right-winger, fascist. These two groups could never speak to one another and achieve clarity.
Or could they?
Everyone has something to add to the general discourse. Everyone.
Anyone can learn something new. Anyone.
When I wrestled, I wanted to win, sure. But I also wanted to give my opponent the best match of his entire life. I wanted him to remember me, look me in the eye when he shook my hand, and win or lose, thank me for the match.
When I talk with someone, I want clarity over agreement. Sure I want to persuade them to my way of thinking. But at the end of it all, wouldn't it be nice to have a fair and equitable discourse where, at the close, we shake hands and thank that person for pushing our thinking?
Onward!
Dr. J
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